If real estate referrals aren’t rolling in the way you’d hoped, it’s probably not because you’re doing a bad job—it’s because you need a better system. The agents getting steady referrals are not crossing their fingers and hoping someone drops their name. They’re showing up with intention and making it easy for people to remember (and recommend) them.

These are my go-to strategies for building trust, creating standout moments, and staying top of mind in a way that feels good (without the awkward ask).

Why Referrals Matter in Real Estate

If you know me, you know I will never pay for leads. Not now, not ever. And honestly? You shouldn’t either. There’s a better way to grow your business, and it starts with relationships.

Real estate referrals come from people who already like you, trust you, and want to see you win. They’re warmer, easier to convert, and usually more fun to work with. Your past clients and SOI? They’re already in your corner. Over 50% of my deals come from my database—and that’s not luck. It’s consistent connection, solid systems, and delivering an experience people want to talk about.

One good referral often leads to another. When someone has a great experience with you, they don’t just send you their friend—they keep you in their back pocket for everyone who mentions real estate. That kind of momentum is gold, and it doesn’t cost a dime.

How To Get More Real Estate Referrals

#1: Deliver an Exceptional Client Experience

This is where it starts. If people love working with you, they’ll want to tell their friends. Even if the deal falls through, a smooth, supportive process still earns you top-of-mind status.

And remember, your client can’t appreciate what they don’t know. So let them in on it. Little updates and thoughtful touches go a long way in building trust (and buzz).

How to elevate your client the experience:

• Send a simple “what to expect” guide after your first meeting
• Share weekly updates (even if nothing major has changed)
• Communicate behind-the-scenes wins like “Just followed up with the lender, here’s where we’re at!”
• Celebrate small milestones with a personal message or treat
• Check in post-closing to ask how the transition is going

Pro Tip: Life gets hectic, especially in mom mode. Build a system of check-ins with pre-written email templates or text scripts so your clients always feel supported—even on your busiest days.

#2: Stay in Touch After Closing

So many agents go quiet after the final handshake. Don’t be that agent. The deal might be done, but the relationship shouldn’t be. If you want referrals that keep rolling in, you’ve got to stay top of mind. Not in a salesy way, just in a hey, I’m still here for you kind of way.

Here are a few simple ways to stay connected:

• Send a home anniversary card (bonus points for including a local gift card or market update)
• Share seasonal home maintenance tips in your newsletter or DMs
• Mail a “thinking of you” postcard after a big holiday or community event
• Check in 30 days post-close: “Hey! How’s the new place feeling?”
• Tag them in a social post if you see something they’d love (like local events or design inspo)
• Invite them to your next community event or giveaway

Pro Tip: Add your check-ins to your calendar because if you’re anything like me, if it’s not in the calendar, it’s not happening! Schedule your check-ins and save a few templates so it’s easy to stay consistent.

#3: Show Up Consistently on Social Media

No, you don’t have to post every day. But you do need to be present. Consistent posts keep you visible, build connection, and help your audience remember what you do (and why they like you).

Think local tips, helpful info, and little moments from your day-to-day. When people feel like they know you, they’re way more likely to refer you.

Pro Tip: Don’t just talk about houses. Share the coffee shop you love, a sweet snap from your kid’s school event, or a quick win with a client. The real you builds real trust.

#4: Build Relationships with Local Partners + Other Agents

Referrals don’t just come from past clients. Some of your best leads can come from mortgage brokers, insurance agents, local business owners—and yes, even other realtors. Especially those in other markets.

Start by building real relationships. Grab coffee, send a DM, and cheer them on. Because when you lead with genuine connection (not just a “what can you do for me” vibe) you don’t just gain a referral source. You gain someone who gets your business, your challenges, and your wins. And that’s priceless.

Pro Tip: Add these agents and partners to your touchpoint plan. A quarterly check-in, a little shoutout on social, or a thank-you message when they send someone your way goes a long way.

#5: Create a Simple Referral Process

If you want more referrals, make it easy for people to send them your way. Even your biggest fans won’t refer you if they’re not sure how.

Ask yourself:

• Do they know how to introduce you?
• Do they know what to say?
• Do they know what happens next?

If you haven’t spelled it out, assume they don’t know.

Pro Tip: If it’s something you do more than once, make it a process. Create a copy-and-paste message clients can use to refer you. Add it to your email signature or your client goodbye packet.

#6: Ask at the Right Time (In the Right Way)

You don’t need to wait until closing. The best time is when your client’s already feeling grateful. After a win, a solved problem, or a moment where you made things easier.

Plant the seed early. I let clients know from day one that their happiness matters—and I know I’ve done my job when they send someone they care about. Then I sprinkle it in naturally throughout the transaction and after closing.

Great moments to ask:

• After an accepted offer or a smooth inspection
• When they rave about you in a text or review
• Right after you solve a tricky problem or ease their stress

Pro Tip: If it feels awkward at first, prep a go-to line that sounds like you. Try: “I’ve loved working with you. If anyone else is looking to buy or sell, I’d be so grateful if you sent them my way!” Saying it with heart makes all the difference.

#7: Come From Contribution

Referrals flow when people see you as helpful, not just hungry for business. So flip the script and start by asking what they need. Can you recommend a great painter? Lend moving boxes? Share your favourite moving checklist? Give value first. The referrals follow. 

When people see you showing up generously (without expecting anything in return), that’s what makes them talk about you.

Pro Tip: Keep a “go-to list” of trusted vendors (cleaners, handypeople etc.) in your Notes app. That way, when someone needs a rec, you can deliver instantly—and be seen as the one who knows all the right people.

The Gist

The strongest real estate businesses are built on real relationships. When you show up consistently, create a stellar client experience, and genuinely care about the people in your sphere, referrals become the natural next step. 

You don’t need a fancy system. Just pick 2–3 of these strategies and start showing up with heart. The results will follow.

FAQ: Real Estate Referrals

→ How to ask for referrals in real estate?

The best time to ask is when your client is happy, like right after closing or a big win. Keep it simple and personal: “If you know anyone looking to buy or sell, I’d be so grateful if you passed my name along.”

→ What is a reasonable referral fee?

Referral fees typically range from 20% to 35% of the commission, depending on the market and agreement between agents. Just be clear about expectations upfront and always get it in writing.

→ How do you politely ask for a referral?

Focus on appreciation, not pressure. Try: “It’s been such a joy working with you. If anyone you know needs an agent, I’d love the chance to help them too.” A heartfelt ask goes a long way.

---

Want Support Getting More Referrals?

Building a referral-based real estate business while raising a family isn’t easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Inside MOMward Real Estate Mastery, you’ll find practical strategies that work in today’s market, plus a community of 400+ mom agents who truly understand your world.
It’s where you’ll get the tools to grow your business, the support to keep going, and yep—a built-in referral network of women who genuinely want to see you win. Click here to learn more.